Choiseul On The Move

 

MERISSA’S DEATH SHOULD TROUBLE ALL OF US: A MESSAGE TO THE YOUNG WOMEN OF CHOISEUL-SALTIBUS

There are some stories you read and simply move on.

Then there are others that stay with you.

The reported death of 21-year-old Merissa Auguste of Boguis, Babonneau is one of those stories.

Merissa had reportedly been missing since September 9. Sadly, reports now indicate that her body has been found. There are also disturbing allegations surrounding the circumstances of her death, including reports that she may have been sexually assaulted and beaten before being killed.

Those details remain matters for the police and investigators to confirm, and we should be careful not to turn a family's grief into social-media speculation.

But one thing is already certain.

A young woman has lost her life.

And somewhere tonight, a family is trying to understand how somebody they loved walked out into the world and never returned home.

That should trouble every one of us.

This Is Not Just A Babonneau Story

It would be easy for those of us in Choiseul and Saltibus to read this story, shake our heads, say how terrible it is, and continue with our day.

But tragedies like this must force us to think closer to home.

Our daughters travel to Castries, Vieux Fort, Soufriere and other parts of Saint Lucia for work, school, appointments and entertainment.

Some finish work late.

Some depend on public transportation.

Some accept rides from people they know casually.

Some meet people they first encountered online.

Some simply believe that because Saint Lucia is small, they are relatively safe.

Unfortunately, small island does not automatically mean safe island.

And that is the difficult conversation we need to have.

To The Young Women Of Choiseul And Saltibus

Choiseul on the Move wants to speak directly to you.

Not to frighten you.

Not to suggest that you should stop enjoying your lives.

But because sometimes one small precaution can make a difference.

When you are going somewhere, let somebody know where you are going.

If you are meeting someone for the first time, especially someone you met online, tell a relative or close friend who you are meeting and where.

If you accept a ride and something doesn't feel right, share your location, vehicle registration number or other information with somebody you trust.

Keep your phone charged when possible.

If plans suddenly change, send a quick message home.

And perhaps most importantly, trust your instincts.

Sometimes we remain in uncomfortable situations because we don't want to appear rude.

Forget that.

You do not owe anybody politeness at the expense of your safety.

If something feels wrong, leave.

If somebody's behaviour changes and you become uncomfortable, leave.

If somebody becomes controlling, aggressive or threatening, seek help.

You would rather explain later why you overreacted than have your family wishing you had.

But Women Cannot Carry This Burden Alone

There is something else that needs saying.

Every time a woman is attacked, we immediately start producing lists telling women what they should have done.

Don't walk alone.

Don't go there.

Don't accept that ride.

Don't dress this way.

Don't trust that person.

Yes, personal safety matters.

But we must be very careful not to make women responsible for the violence committed against them.

The bigger question remains:

Why are there men among us who believe they have the right to abuse, assault or kill women?

That conversation must begin in our homes.

It must begin with our boys.

Respect for women cannot start when a young man turns 25.

It must be taught when he is five.

Our sons must learn that rejection is not humiliation.

A woman saying no is not an insult.

A relationship ending is not permission for revenge.

Jealousy is not love.

Possession is not love.

Control is not love.

Violence is certainly not love.

Young Men, You Have A Role Too

To the young men of Choiseul-Saltibus, there is something you can do.

Look out for the women around you.

If your friend is harassing a woman, don't encourage him.

If somebody tells you that he intends to hurt a woman, don't laugh it off.

If you see a woman clearly uncomfortable in a situation, check whether she needs help.

Sometimes preventing violence begins long before the police arrive.

It begins when somebody decides not to remain silent.

Parents Must Keep Communication Open

Parents also have a role.

Our children grow older and naturally want independence.

But we must create relationships where our daughters and sons feel comfortable telling us where they are going, who they are meeting and when something doesn't feel right.

If every conversation becomes interrogation and punishment, eventually they stop telling us anything.

And sometimes that silence can become dangerous.

We need communication without unnecessary judgement.

Let The Police Investigation Establish The Truth

There will undoubtedly be rumours surrounding Merissa's death.

Some may turn out to be true.

Others may not.

This is where we must exercise restraint.

A grieving family deserves answers, not Facebook investigators creating theories from incomplete information.

Let the Royal Saint Lucia Police Force investigate.

Anyone with genuine information that could assist investigators should pass that information to the authorities rather than simply circulating it through WhatsApp groups.

Justice requires facts.

A Young Woman Should Be Able To Come Home

At the end of all of this, the issue is really quite simple.

A young woman should be able to leave her home in the morning.

Go to work.

Go to school.

Visit friends.

Attend an event.

Meet somebody.

Live her life.

And return safely to the people who love her.

That should not be considered too much to expect in Saint Lucia.

So tonight, Choiseul on the Move joins the rest of the country in expressing sympathy to the family and loved ones of Merissa Auguste.

May they find strength during what must be an unbearable time.

And to every young woman reading this in Choiseul, Saltibus, Roblot, Piaye, La Fargue, Debreuil and the surrounding communities:

Enjoy your life. Chase your dreams. Go to school. Go to work. Go out with your friends. But remain aware. Tell somebody where you are. Look out for each other. And never ignore that inner voice telling you something isn't right.

We cannot remove every danger from the world.

But as communities, families and friends, we can become much better at protecting one another.

Rest in peace, Merissa.

Gone far too soon. 🕊️